I had written a post on Friday, December 28, 2007 that was short and brief, basically containing the raw essence of many emotions:

Despair, Frustration, Vexation, Cynical, Disillusioned, Adolescent Angst

Thankfully my friend Ross wanted to see Sweeny Todd later that night and Chris came to my dorm to hang out, and take the brunt of the lashing, which caused me to put aside all those thoughts and emotions. And since I went back to Long Island to spend some time with my friends before the New Years, I have had the time to reflect.

I feel like now’s a good time for me to sit down, forage through my thoughts, compile them and write them. I’m not feeling those six emotions to the extent that I was on Friday, and this is due to various reasons.

Up above, wherever he is…

Up above, wherever he is, I believe that God is playing a game of chess- probably against his son, Jesus, which if we’re to be correct, himself. It is not like ordinary chest, nor is it the version we see in Harry Potter. There are over a billion pieces, and as one kills the other’s piece, a piece is being regenerated or born. (Do you catch my drift here?)

I thought about this, and I wondered how the six different figures reflected society and which piece I was. And this is what I came with, and I also listed the people that I could think of off the top of my head. Many people are probably going to hate me, but I hope no one takes offense. I placed people depending on how they responded to me, and to others as well.

Pawn, the smallest in size and in value in a game of chess- or so the dictionary says. I’d like to think that I serve some greater purpose than a pawn, and Chris believes so, saying that a pawn can only go forward…unless of course it reaches the end of the board. I like to think of pawns as the very foundation in which society is built upon. They are the pillars of support and are the first to feel the cold touch of death.
Those associated: Jeffrey, Corey, Brandon (1/2), Brando, Devin (1/2), Amber (1/2), Rob, Ryan, Matthieu, Daniel no. 2, Ri (1/2), Meko

Rook, considered one of the three fundamental chess pieces with its original purpose of protecting the king and queen. In my mind I think I want to be a rook, merely because they are considered as tools of protection. But I think anyone that’s met me knows that I’m not physically strong enough to protect someone.
Those associated: Chris, Devin (1/2), Steven, my Step-Father

Knight, another one of the three fundamental chess pieces, the knight serves to protect and kill. I very much like the beliefs that knights are built upon: following the code of chivalry and having total devotion to their king and queen. Chris thought that I was a knight, and I disagree. I don’t follow the code of chivalry at all, and where I’d like to think I’m devoted to someone, that devotion has sometimes flickered horribly so.
Those associated: Kenny, Barrias, Jonathan, Jonny Rawls, Daniel (1/2), Brandon (1/2), Iain, Jordan

Bishop, the last of the three fundamental chess pieces, the bishop is considered purely an offensive piece. In their original essence, they are people of religion that defend and preach the ideals of their religion. In my opinion they are deceitful beings that appear weak and powerless because they are frail to look at, however they have a hidden power authority to back them up. I see myself as the bishop the most out of all the pieces.
Those associated: Myself, Emily, Ross, David, Daniel (1/2), Karen (1/2)

Queen, thought of as the strongest chess piece offensively and defensively, although her size is not nearly as grand as the king. Although men would like to believe that a woman has no power, in the game of chess we see that a woman’s influence over men is the reason as to why she is so dominating. She can move in any direction she wants regardless of distance. People’s immediate response was that I was a queen, mostly because I’m gay. I know I’m not the queen because I don’t have that type of influence over men or those around me, and I do not possess the freedom that the role implies.
Those associated: Tyler, my Mother, Amber (1/2), Andrea, Matthias, Ri (1/2), Karen (1/2), my Foster Father, Alex

King, the most important although the weakest chess piece. They somehow managed to attain the power to control their kingdom, however when it comes to the game they are heavily restricted and are considered powerless. Let’s not forget that if we destroy the king, the game is won. It’s obvious that I am no king. I don’t possess that power to have people follow my commands without question, and I can’t say I’d ever want that power either.
Those associated: my Father, Brian

* (1/2) means that the person is broken into two pieces

I realize that this isn’t in-depth enough but it touches the surface and I think that people can figure out the rest if they really wanted to. It’s really a food for thought, and I thought it was interesting.

I swear this year…

I’ve realized every year I’ve made a list of resolutions for the following year that is barely followed or seen through, so instead of making a long list of resolutions that won’t be kept, I decided to list one thing.

In the following year, I want to evolve as a person. I want to become more matured and disciplined. I want to be a better Christopher Louie.

I wonder how that’ll go.