Broken

I am hating every moment when I think of you, I am loving when I think of you. I would gladly kill you if I didn’t want to save you. I want to be your guardian, your angel and at the same time I’d like to be your arch-nemisis, your demon. I would smile to see you cry, but I’d end with bloody wrists. I would give up dreams to hold you, I would give up hopes to hear your heart. I grovel for your warmth. I don’t want to make you cold but I want to push you out. I don’t want to hurt you but you’re hurting me. I would like to help you but you would rather die. I am the parasite, you are the host- I need you, do you need me?

Resilient

I had once conferenced with a girl, who told me that wishing on a star was foolish and she’d never do it again. I wondered why she said that, I even asked her so. She told me that with each star she wished on, it would fall, but someone else would catch it. Then on I have never made a wish on a star, but lately I have been wishing on stars- hoping they’d come true.

Ambitious

Every time I look at you, you’re never looking back. Your eyes are set on some other boy, I know I can’t compare. I’m always thinking about you, I wonder if you think of me. I don’t know you anymore but I’m wishing, praying, hoping that something happens. I’ve regretted so much lately.

Naive

Everytime we meet, or even talk for the matter- something always aches. When you do what you do to me, it hurts more than it did before- I don’t know what I should do- should I even bother trying? You say you miss me, but then you ignore me. It would be nice if you gave some sign, one that would give me motivation to continue or to end. I can only feel something aching, and it draws tears- this feeling, you ought to know.

Discouraged

I sing from time to time, songs that we would sing together. Ones that played on the radio when we were dating, songs that we dedicated to each other. Hands down, we talked all night until it was breaking dawn and I made you get off because you had to wake up soon. Swing swing, you noticed that I played certain songs whenever we were near or talking and it made you laugh. Last train home, we sung together in whispers embarrassed from our voices. So many songs have memories of you embedded into them, it’s hard to stop thinking of you when everything reminds me of you. Because you loved me, Last song, Vindicated, Okay I believe you but my tommy gun don’t….

Obscene

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