January 1, 2006
Kristopher Louie

1.
The new year comes,
and I still have
a thousand words unsaid.
But to reveal them
would only bring me dread,
for I’ve made my mistakes;
I won’t make them again.

2.
I Promised you and
promised myself that
I wouldn’t still think
that we were meant to be.

But I can’t help but look
on the year that has just passed
and not say:
“We were meant to be.”

3.
It’s cold here,
you say it’s cold there.
Remember our jokes
on warming each other up?

I can lay in bed,
exhausted from the work I’ve done
and still manage to think
of my lips against yours.

Or wake up from
an empty dream
yearning to be held
by you and no one else.

4.
The things you did,
said or made,
did you ever know
what they did to me?

I would smile
when we joked
about our hands
in each other’s pants.

Bite my lower lip
when you teased me,
but only do the same
to watch you bite yours.

Was it true when
you said that you
would’ve been here by now
if I wasn’t such an idiot?

5.
Because I believe that loves
should still be friends.
And that jealousy, a form of spite,
has no shelter with me.
I struggle against human nature
to please myself and the joy
of being just your friend.

But I’d like you to know,
that I’ve been thinking of you.
Wondering if he pleases you
like I did, or if I could
ever please you like he does.
Did I ever stand a chance
against that single, cursed boy?

Did you mean what you said
when you told me that
I could trust you with anything
and I should never be ashamed
that you would always catch me
that we would always be friends.
It must be true, right?

A new year passes,
I’ve made it a resolution to
simply stop thinking of you.
But I fail each second, minute, hour, day
You’ve been on my mind since we met
Since we first started talking
Since we first started flirting.

A new year passes,
and I’ve made it a resolution not
to cry when I think of you.
I haven’t been doing so well,
crying now as we speak.
I wondered what I did wrong
when he did just the same.

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